1. Hey there! WhatsApp using me.
2. The person you love is 72.8% water.
3. If there is a "WILL"...there are 500 relatives.
4. I work for money, for loyalty hire a dog.
5. I'm not online, It's just an optical illusion.
6. Love is like a fart, if you have to force it, it's probably a crap.
7. Life is short-Chat fast!
8. I love my job only when I'm on vacation.
9. When nothing goes right...go left!!
10. When I was kidnaped,my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
11. Not always available, try your luck.
12. Read books instead of reading my status.
13. Doing nothing is very hard thing to do...you never know when to finish.
14. Hunh, Don't copy my status.
15. When I show you a picture on my phone, don't swipe left and right, just look.
16. Who needs television when there is so much drama on WhatsApp.
17. Save water,drink beer.
18. If the college has taught us anything, it's texting without looking.
19. Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
20. We are WTF generation.....WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook.
21. The human brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours a day from the time we born, and only stop when we take the exam or are in love.
22. I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them.
23. All my life I thought air is free until a bought a bag of chips.
24. Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm just woke me up.
25. I only need 3 things in life: food, wifi,sleep.
26. Google must be a woman because it knows everything.
27. We live in the era of smart phones and stupid people.
28. Don't hit kids.No, seriously...they have guns now.
29. Congratulations! my tallest finger wants to give you a standing ovation.
30. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
31. Don't be too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
32. Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
33. When you can't marry the one you love, marry the one who is rich.
34. Roses are red, I'm going to bed.
35. I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode.
36. The shortest horror story in history: Tomorrow is Monday.
37. My bed and I have a special relationship, we are perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.
38. From the first day, their status is, 'Hey there! I am using WhatsApp' I know, that's why you're on my list.
39. Someone writes, 'urgent call only'....don't get it. Are you in the police or ambulance service?
40. I want to be one of those people who does yoga and eats berries for breakfast. But I am one of those people who stays in bed until 4pm and eats pizza.
41. Laughter is the best medicine. But if you're laughing without any reason, you need medicine.
42. I still miss my ex, but my aim is getting better.
43. I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And others I love to punch in the face.
44. No, it's not the cool breeze you're feeling, I with my cool attitude just walked by your house.
45. I will be back before you pronounce gkhwocslkpwjsdjkskd.
46. Stop checking my status, go get a life.
47. He who laughs last....just didn't get the joke.
48. I'm just having an allergic reaction to the universe.
49. We all are born to die don't feel more special than me.
50. I wonder what happens when doctor's wife eats an apple a day.
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